Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Sun

My sister Kathy almost always had a perm, usually an Ogilvie or a Rave, usually done at the kitchen sink. We had so many perm rollers at home. Amy and I had perms too but Kathy’s always turned out the best. So round! It looked really good in the wind as she skated up and down the driveway. It looked like a movie. Nobody in their right mind would get a perm today unless they wanted to feel that happy and fast and free.

That’s what The Sun card is about. It’s about looking and feeling a way you remember, a long-ago wavy windblown ball kind of way.

You don’t have to get a perm, today, but you do have to wear something that makes you feel like this:

queen kath

Like a driveway disco-skating innerbeauty queen.

The Sun is sponsored by Batters Up! cupcakes. Here they are on a page you should like: Batters Up! Facebook. Seriously tasty joy. 

Tomorrow: Judgment.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Moon

The prettiest things are the ones nobody else can see. Today is the day to buy new undergarments, or get a tattoo in a covered place, or get some stick-on crystals and stick one to your sternum to remind yourself to breathe better and think with your heart.

Or shut up instead of saying what shouldn’t be said. Or quit asking for answers.

There are things you don’t get to know, and you’re better off. You really are. It’s maddening, I know, and that’s why you have to fight back with lingerie under your clothes and ink under your skin. If the world isn’t going to tell you everything you want to know right this minute, and it’s not, then fine, keep some things from the world.

See also: The Star. See also: The Magician.

There’s a right time to unfold the folds and show what you’ve got. It’s not today.

The Moon is sponsored by Rob Foster, who can make four hours of bloody misery really worth your while. Dude does beautiful cover-ups.

Tomorrow: The Sun.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Star

Kit White says “style is the by-product of saying what has to be said in the most appropriate way a maker can say it.”  Ann’s Fashion Tarot says if you dress like your dreams, they have a much better chance of coming true.

So for instance, if you’re an art professor like Kit but your deep down dream is to be an aerobics instructor (which, to be clear, I’m not suggesting this is his deal, I don’t know), then today you need to lecture in track pants and a sports bra. If you’re an aerobics instructor but you want to teach art, today you should lead class in tweed leggings and a beret.

The Star says today is the day to spread your tiny fragile dreams out in front of you and take a very honest look. Give them some air. Give them some credit. Then get dressed in a way that shows you’re ready for them to be real.

The Star is sponsored by Amy Kortuem, who, a decade ago, had the balls to imagine a concert harp career here in the 56001. 

Audacious and lovely. Here is her blog.

Tomorrow: The Moon.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Tower

I’m so sorry about this but SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN, and when it does, you might take the scissors you keep in the car to cut the tags off when you go shopping in case you want to try things on as you’re driving home, and look at yourself in the rear-view mirror, while you’re driving, and cut your bangs.

You might.

The Tower in traditional Tarot is about devastation, a leveling, an unexpected knocking-down of the world as you know it. The Tower in Fashion Tarot means the same thing plus you’re in danger of freaking out in a way that will take a year to grow back, or a very expensive salon visit to strip out.

But it’s going to be ok.

But wow, right now, you’re kind of in for it.

The Tower is sponsored by INdiGo Organic stylist Tim Schmidt, who is not afraid of your disaster. Not at all.

Mention Ann’s Fashion Tarot when you call today to book with Tim, like right now, and he’ll give you give you all the regular love plus a little bit more. 

Tomorrow: The Star.

 

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Devil

There’s a habit you love and it’s holding you back. It might be eyeliner all the way around. It might be the bangs you’ve had since, like, forever. All I can tell you is that whatever it is, the thing you think you need the most, you need it the least.

I get that it feels good in the moment to comb your hair that same way, I really do, but that tiny rush of comfort is a fleeting fix and you don’t need it.

Unless you do. If it’s getting you through a rough time, fine, I’m not going to come over there and grow your bangs out for you. But when you’re ready to quit, really quit. Quit hard. And then get ready to see good things you can’t possibly see right now, not with those bangs in the way.

The Devil is sponsored by songwriter/singer/guitarist Joe Tougas of The Frye, whose original tune Devil Pizza would make a great soundtrack for your addictions.

Tomorrow: The Tower.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: Temperance

Here is the thing. It might not actually look that good on you. Or it might have been perfect, whatever it was, that thing you just put in a garbage bag and took to Goodwill. Which, you know, oh well. Sometimes you just can’t know.

The Temperance card is about unseen forces at work, things you don’t notice when you look in your regular mirror every regular day. It takes imagination and some bravery to take an honest look at the back of your hair or the back of your pants, or whatever, and realize you’re not ever really getting the whole picture. Normal views don’t account for the height of the person behind you, or blinding love, or crippling envy or shitty lighting or somebody else’s bad/good day.

These are the things that contribute to the absolute lack of fashion truth of whatever you’ve got going on. So just forget it. Know that you’re never going to know, and wear it anyway.

mystic golden hanger

Temperance is sponsored by Mankato’s Tandem Bagels, a bright and lovely place that didn’t used to be. 

It was a dank, dark bar until a few great women saw some potential and knocked out some walls, put up some art and started making deliciousness. 

Tomorrow: The Devil.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: Death

It’s the opposite of shopping season, today, for you. It’s your time to purge.

The regular Tarot Death card signals a loss or an ending that makes room for something new. The kind of ending that’s like, hey, I just can’t do this anymore. Because I think I want to do something else but you’re in the way.

The Fashion Tarot Death card commands you to go get some Steelsacs and spend a couple hours in your closet, and take a harsh look at everything and be real about what’s dead to you. If you haven’t worn it in a while, or you have but it failed to make you happy, or it doesn’t fit so it’s just hanging around taunting you, it goes. Put it in the bag. Get that bag to Goodwill or Salvation Army or your sister’s house or whatever as soon as possible.

This is not an easy card for a lot of reasons. You might not know where to start. You might get rid of something you’ll miss. Death is a tough one but it’s the only way to make space for what comes next. And what comes next is going to look amazing on you.

Death is sponsored by Rachael Hanel, a gravedigger’s daughter and author of We’ll Be The Last Ones to Let You Down.

Tomorrow: Temperance.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Hanging Mannequin

You’re not going to hang there forever. Only long enough for some blood to rush to your head and some better fashion sense to rush along with it. You just need to see things differently, and the only way to get that is to spend a little time in discomfort.

The Hanging Mannequin says if you usually use body wash, use a scrub. If you usually wear socks, don’t. If you have an actual traction machine and can hang upside down for real, do it, because your back and neck will stretch out a little and your face will flush and that might be all you need.

The key is to make sure you get upright before too long. Remember that you’re going for flushed, not congealed. Fresh, not frostbitten. Roughed-up, not raw. Those are fine lines. It’s your job today to walk them and to land on your rosy, exfoliated feet.

The Hanging Mannequin is sponsored by Bent River Outfitter. Showshoe rental, y’all. Legwarmers not included.

Tomorrow: Death.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: Justice

If you smell nice, the people around you might breathe more deeply. If you tell the woman checking you in at Planet Beach that her manicure is great, she might be like, hey, thank you, and then she’ll go get a fill at Kim Nails & Spa right next door and the local economy will improve by $18 plus tip.

This is what the Justice card is about. It’s about how everything you do comes back around in a high-fashion leveling of the field. Like really high, like higher-power high.

I’m not saying you have to change how you smell or how you chit-chat with cashiers or what you’re wearing right now (seriously) or anything else. I’m definitely saying, though, that it matters, and it would be good to give some thought to your ways. Chat as if the cashier’s well-being and the global economy are in your pretty hands. Smell as if the world is going to breathe it right back in your face. If you walk around doing things with grace and good hygiene, things should be ok.

Do things that way today.

Justice is sponsored by Minnesota lawyer-poet Tim Nolan, who says “joy in poetry and the law is all about paying attention to what seems insignificant.”

Here are two poems for Ann’s Fashion Tarot fans inclined to do the supplemental readings: For My Country In Its Darkness, and Thanksgiving. Eyedrops and chestnuts. Drugstores and a cross-dresser. You will like Tim’s poems.

Tomorrow: The Hanging Mannequin.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot: The Wheel of Fortune

Shop! Today is the day.

The Wheel of Fortune is about taking action guided by your heart and your gut, so whatever you buy today, it will look good. As long as it feels good. You can go shopping in some retail place, or consignment, or just deep down in your soul. Whatever. Anything you pick is going to look great on you.

The Wheel is also about staying steady in the center while the world spins around you, though, so be careful. Beware the hype. Beware holiday sales, beware salespeople who tell you it looks awesome. It might not. Your gut knows, your heart knows. Shop from your core and the good fashion fortune will follow.

 The Wheel of Fortune is sponsored by Encore, the consignment shop at 311 N. Riverfront in Mankato. 

Tons of holiday discounts going on at Encore this month. Ann’s Fashion Tarot fans have the extra special bonus of knowing that whatever you buy is guaranteed not to have lipstick in the neck, because I bought everything I tried on last time I was there.

Tomorrow: Justice.