Ann's Fashion Tarot, Isolation Edition: Justice.

Mar25

NO YOU DO NOT need dreadlocks to join today’s Pandemic Palmrolling Party, which I’m co-hosting with the wonderful Mnikelo Majestic Nojoko who gave me what turns out to the the best possible look for right-now.

Fidget spinner? Check. Source of comfort when you roll them with smellgood oils, turning your head into a giant diffuser? Check. Extra warmth for walks outside, which have become the peak adventure of the day every day? CHECK. You can still join the party if you have nothing to roll, you just have to 1) believe stamina might be a good to muscle to work right now, and 2) feel grateful for the stylists you’re missing, who are also missing you, as well as income, and stability, and the chance to practice their craft.

Justice says, sink into the long game. Operate as if you can envision some wrongs righted, some fuzz smoothed, some beautiful eventualities.

Ann's Fashion Tarot, Isolation Edition: The Chariot.

Mar24

If you’re literally in the driver’s seat of all the driving, my question is, what are you doing right now when the roads are mostly empty and it would SEEM like now’s a good time for otherwise-disruptive construction projects, but that’s probably a stupid idea if you know anything about public health which I don’t. So the question is, how is Minnesota Commissioner of Transportation Margaret Anderson Kelliher spending her time?

The Commissioner is sewing, specifically masks, specifically during her break if she gets it from a workday devoted to keeping roads and bridges and public transit drivers and pedestrians safe during unprecedented public works weirdness. She’s got mad sewing skills which is a beautiful counterpart to her dayjob, which, as noted, is intense right now.

The Chariot is about owning the fact that you’ve got a lot going on right now, A LOT, none of it harmonious or synergy-ish unless you take serious charge and take serious time to balance the weighty with the frivolous, the daunting with the darning of a sock. It’d be awesome, today, if you’d stay off the roads. Because then maybe Margaret could get a hot minute to sew and get some peace and then return to work keeping Minnesota safe and uncongested and lovely.

The Chariot says, yeah you ARE the boss of whatever you’re the boss of right now, no passing of the buck cuz literally nobody’s open, but you DO get to call for breaks and you’ll be a better leader/driver/human if you can seek and strike that balance.

Ann's Fashion Tarot, Isolation Edition: The High Priest.

Mar21

Honestly I don’t know which he wore better, the daffodil/robin’s egg contrast of the tie with the shirt, or the thoughtful ownership of having said one thing one day and then announcing its opposite the next. The bookish-but-not-boring glasses, or the clear and graspable explanation of how historical data about pandemics is what’s behind decisions that might otherwise come across as irrational or excessive.

Actually I think Governor Walz wore a brick-red tie/white shirt at Friday’s briefing with the Minnesota Department of Health, but it doesn’t matter, because the guy’s style is consistent. Fresh yet classic. Seasonal, yet enduring. Compassionate, strategic, transparent, superfun pops of color.

In tarot, the High Priest is about doctrine, and a lot of what gets called doctrine is crap. Exploitive, negligent, not-helpful. But there’s a way to do it right, and you know it when you hear it, like when he says empathy is central to decision-making. And, “If I fall down, I expect to be called on it.” And, “Let’s do this in a way that others can look at and say, that’s the way out of this.”

ARTIST’S NOTE: Forgot to draw a High Priest when I made the original deck, and I can’t draw one now because I burned the remaining scraps of the 7Up carton and I cannot have nonmatching cards. But making do is all the rage right now so we are going with this.

The High Priest says, integrity becomes you.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot, Isolation Edition: The Magician.

Mar18

Magic is a basic human right and if you have to conjure it from a Diet 7-Up carton rescued from the recycling bin because the world needs Isolation Edition tarot RIGHT NOW, then that is what you do. That’s how I made this deck, never mind that I probably had regular paper, this was a random act of resourcefulness and I’ve been ready for a long time to start whipping those out.

You can’t tell me you haven’t been waiting your whole life to do the same, like, that thing your grandma talked about with the waxed paper from butter sticks, freezing it for future pan-greasing. Or for moisturizer. Maybe moisturizer right now due to all the hand-washing. I don’t know what your cuticles look like but mine are freaking out. I don’t care if you have actual hand cream, now is the time for butter residue, or the grease from an empty bag of chips, or WD-40 which you should find anyway to fix all the things you’re thinking you should fix right now. Try it all. How else are we going to prevent a future lotion ration. How else are we going to learn every lesson history ever taught us, about necessity and invention and moisturizing and the value of a decent manicure in discouraging times.

The Magician says, get friendly with the idea that you have what you need.

Ann’s Fashion Tarot, Isolation Edition: The Fool.

Mar16

I don’t know about you but the action I’m taking right now is to pluck my eyebrows. It started the night before last and that was prior to the Governor’s announcement that basically everything would shut down, so I was ahead of the game, mystically anticipating a period of isolation where things could grow back without much public scrutiny. Last time I went at my brows like this was 1981. There was no crisis then, except I was in seventh grade and my eyebrows were among few things I could control. So control them I did, like, really close to the mirror, in hindsight probably too close as in not once did I step back to check along the way and so we had this.

For comparison, here is that year’s unfortunately timed school photo (right) and the previous year (left).

If you’ve done something stupid just prior to a social isolation, congratulations, because now you have time for things to grow back. Or maybe you did something stupid a while ago and now you can revisit it more thoughtfully, like, step BACK from the mirror every few minutes, remove only the STRAY brows and not NEARLY ALL of the brows.

The Fool says, the unknown isn’t some great gift unless you make it that. Unless you need a great gift right now. Give it a shot. Back away every few minutes to check your work and then, then, keep going.