Black Friday, a Mall of America/Steely Dan mashup

For my shopping friends and my Steely Dan-loving friends, which I think covers all my friends, here’s what you missed today at Mall of America. Here’s the song so you can listen along.

When Black Friday comes I'll stand down by the door And catch the grey men when they Dive from the fourteenth floor

When Black Friday comes I’ll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they dive from the fourteenth floor

When Black Friday comes
I’ll collect everything I’m owed

And before my friends find out / I'll be on the road

And before my friends find out

I'll be on the road

I’ll be on the road

Don't let it fall on me

When Black Friday falls you know it’s got to be
Don’t let it fall on me

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna dig myself a hole

When Black Friday comes
I’m gonna dig myself a hole

satisfy my soul

Gonna lay down in it ’til
I satisfy my soul

Gonna let the world pass by me

Gonna let the world pass by me

The Archbishop's gonna sanctify me

The Archbishop’s gonna sanctify me

And if he don't come across I'm gonna let it roll

And if he don’t come across
I’m gonna let it roll

When Black Friday comes I'm gonna stake my claim

When Black Friday comes
I’m gonna stake my claim

I guess I'll change my name

I guess I’ll change my name

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Discussion of the lyrics by Steely Dan freakjobs here. Backstory about the Friday in 1869 when a couple investors tried and failed to corner the gold market here. My last Black Friday love poem here. Reversible shearling/purple mink coat I would LOVE for you to buy me here.