So, my big sister sent me a bunch of things to welcome me to 45 and tell me what to do about it. Superthoughtful! Here they are in case your birthday’s also coming up.

In case you’d forgotten the sweet  glamorous smell of Giorgio. GIORGIO! I’m wearing it right now and I smell like my mom about to leave us with a babysitter. All I need is a clutch purse that smells like mint gum and Newports.

In case you need to be reminded to get a mammogram.

In case you were wondering whether or not to buy more soap.

In case you can’t sleep.

In case you were thinking, do I really need a night cream AND a day cream???

In case you were wondering if midlife is the new youth. It’s not, but according to my sister, it’s a pretty good thing of its own provided we enjoy ourselves and moisturize.